I Need A Break
by RoyalJester
Summary: SiriusRemus in seventh year. They've been dating for a while but kept it secret meaning Sirius still dated girls so no one would suspect. What happens when Remus can't take it anymore?
1. Default Chapter

**I Need A Break**

An Harry Potter Fanfiction written by- **RoyalJester**

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter**

**A/N**- Wow...I'm writing a story with Remus/Sirius...weird...lol. I just LOVE this coupling and I never thought I would see the day where I wrote a story with them...(smirks). If you DON'T like yaoi fics, then please, go elsewhere. . For those of you who are open-minded, I hope you enjoy this fic!! It might be multi-chaptered...not sure.

----

**Sirius's POV**

I scanned over the torn pages with worn-out ink that seemed to whirl together in a blur. The feather of my paranormal quill ran through my fingers as I tapped it against the parchment that was this evening's assignment. _'How did I find myself here?_' I asked myself as I suddenly found myself glancing at my fellow Marauder. Remus Lupin.

His face was peaceful as his warm chocolate eyes scanned through the pages as he flicked his wrist and wrote down notes. His dirty blonde hair gently fell over his eyes as he flicked his head back. How I desire to stroke his face and gently tug at his hair, wrapping it around his ear. I shook my head as a smile was plastered on my face. He was why I was here. He was the reason I had turned down the invitation of a butter beer raid.

James knew the reason of course, he had figured out my feelings long ago. I had apparently whispered Mooney's name while I slept. Thank Merlin that Remus wasn't awake when I murmured his engaging name. But James simply thought it was lust. It was at one point, but it no longer was. My heart yearned for his in return. His love. I hadn't realized it but I let out a long sigh that caught his attention.

I met his chocolate eyes with mine as he smiled.

"Everything going well Padfoot?" Remus muttered as he smiled once again. I find myself smiling sheepishly back.

"Isn't it always?" I asked as I felt myself laugh at my words towards him. Couldn't I come up with something more, cunning? Charming? I hang my head as my hair falls over my face as I still feel his eyes linger over my face as I mutter out a sentence in the book for me to copy down.

I treasured every moment we shared together, and recently, I find myself always around him, as we talk about anything possible. I would often find his hand on my forearm as we laid on the floor of our room as we laughed at our day. I would engage in touch as well as I would occasionally wrap my foot around his locking them together. I would quickly pull my foot back of course; I wouldn't want the feeling of rejection, I wouldn't want others to catch on.

Yes, I suppose I am afraid what others would think if they found out.

I was after all, a heartbreaker. Half the girls I played I can't remember their names. Never had I ever thought my heart would be the one taken away. I glance once again at Remus who had loosened his tie and made a noise in the back of his throat. He does that frequently when he reads, and not so innocent actions. How I adore it.

I suddenly jumped back in surprise as his book was slammed shut and dust quickly filled the air. I held back a cough as I waved my hand in the air, trying to freshen it. I see Remus rise as he slowly walks over to me, and kneels onto the ground as he places his elbows on the table. His arm touches mine gently as he reads over my notes. He suddenly started laughing as his expression of enjoyment caused me to shudder.

"What do you find so funny Mooney?" I asked bewildered with a hint of sarcasm lingering in the air. Remus smiles at me as he rises and peers down above me, scanning his eyes over the book I was reading when he suddenly slams it shut.

I stare up at him curiously as my eyes are full of humor, at least from what I suspected as I suddenly feel his warm lips gently pressed on mine. He could never resist me with my face like that. I wrap my hand around him as I run my hand up and down his spine that causes that noise in the back of his throat to reach my ears. I break out in a smile as he pulls away and sits on the table as I stare up at him.

"Isn't that rather kinky Mooney?" I asked him with a wink as I pass the quill through my fingers. Remus let out a laugh.

"Your mind is always in the gutter now isn't it?" he asked as his voice causes me to smile. I nod my head.

"Only when you're in my mind my dearest Mooney." I say as I rise and put my hands on his knees. I lean in to kiss him as he pulls back. How he drives me crazy.

"You honestly should get done with your work."

"But Mooney, you slammed the book shut when I was working. You cannot do such a thing without paying your debt. You caused my mind to wonder off..." I say jokingly as I watch him roll his eyes.

"Stop making excuses you lazy bum. Also, it looked as if you needed a break, I certainly did." Remus answered with a smirk as he leaned in to kiss me, I turn my head as he scraps my cheek. He leans back, looking appalled.

"Now Mooney, I must get to work. So if you will please allow me to." This caused him to smile as he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me deeply, which of course, I allowed him too.

Remus wasn't as clever as he looked. The _Sirius Black_ always got what he wanted.

----

**A/N**- hmm. I'll stop here. If you guys want another chapter, pray tell. If I do another chapter, it will be Remus's feelings and with the whole 'keeping it secret' Please Read and Review!!


	2. Chapter two

**I Need A Break**

An Harry Potter Fanfiction written by- **RoyalJester**

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter**

**A/n- **Remus's feelings!! YAY!!! Poor guy...

----

Never had a block day ever lasted so long as I stare at the Ancient Runes placed on my desk where my fellow marauder, Peter Pettigrew sat. He twitched in the slightest as he tried to figure out how to spell a simple word to get him to pass this class. Why he signed up for this, I won't ever know. He probably thought I would help him.

I leaned my head on my hand as I stare at the rocks and spell out 'Sirius' it didn't matter anyways, no one could understand this most of the time. We have been 'together' for nearly a year now, and still, he wished to keep it secret. I understood of course. Sirius lives upon his reputation. He craves attention.

I would often find him, sitting in the common rooms as girls piled around him. He would make eye contact with me of course as I left up into my room. He would shortly follow. But still, I am to be a shadow. Ignore the urge I get to wrap my hand around his because we are in public.

It was fine with me he shared a date with someone; he always came back to me. I didn't care if I saw a short kiss between the two because later, his lips would be gently on mine, full of love and care. But what bothered me the most, was that they would walk, hand in hand down the halls. It was impractical seeing I don't mind if they kiss, but the fact that they can walk, holding one another, and no one would say a thing that caused me to anger.

I suddenly shoot up when I hear my name being called; my arm hits the ink jar as it tipples over and spills over all of my notes, I could easily fix them. I instantly stand up, hoping not to have gotten ink on my blazer as I let out a sigh. Laughter filled my ears as I excused myself.

I walked down the hallways. Listening to my footsteps as they echo along the corridor. Me missing one class wouldn't matter, I could simply copy the new notes from someone else in the class, possibly Lily Evans.

I drag my shoes along the ground as I couldn't help but think about Sirius. What we shared was sweet and real. It was love. He completed me, and I completed him. But, was he ready for this? Was I ready for this?

How could I stay with him, be with him, and still watch him fondle others? He asked me for permission, if I would get jealous. I of course said no. Sirius needed this. Otherwise, people would get suspicious. I let out a deep breath of air I was holding in.

This had worked out for a year, so why now did I suddenly feel...upset? Was it because my heart had allowed him in? I truly love him?

Was this it?

Did I have to do the one thing my heart rejected of?

Break it off with Sirius.

I hang my head as I enter the Gryffindor common rooms as I think of a way to bring up the matter. My attention is suddenly pulled away as Sirius enters. A smile on his face as he stares up at me and winks. I stand up; take an immense breath of air as my throat tightens.

"Sirius – I need a break." Right when those words escaped my lips, I wished I could've taken them back.

---

**A/N**- Poor Remus...read and review please!! This will end happily, just to tell you guys.


	3. Chapter Three

**I Need A Break**

An Harry Potter Fanfiction written by- **RoyalJester**

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter**

**A/N**- Once again, Sirius's thoughts and POV. This is going to be before, during, and after when Remus says he needs a break, you'll understand as you read. And also, thank you guys sooo much for your wonderful reviews. I loved them!

-----

I inhale deeply as I try to remain conscious during divination. Honestly, this class could drive anyone barmy as thick smoke fills the air and you sit on chairs that cause you to sink in. My eyes felt of lead swiftly as the aromas filled my head and I found myself fall into a warm, deep rest.

My mind clouds of memories with Remus as my heart pounds against my chest, how perfect he was, how faultless we were together. I was the untamed, fierce, and juvenile with a childlike soul as Remus was practical, considerate, and cared for others before himself. He had tamed me. No one else could've done that. He taught me many lessons in life that had helped me grow as a person. And I helped him. Still we teach one another.

A sharp thrust causes me to shoot up as images of Remus vanish; laughter fills my ears causing my head to ring. I blink deeply as my body tries to get me to sleep once again, but with another jab in the ribs, I was awake.

"What?!" I barked at James who jumped back in the slightest.

"We just heard that Mooney left during Ancient Runes." James muttered under his breath as I smile in the slightest.

Good, the only thing that could make this day better was resting next to him, holding him in my arms.

I rise as I slowly walk over to the trap door as a figure screams after me, "I foresaw this!"

I wave my hands in the air signaling she was precise, and that she was a mastermind. My body felt numb, as I basically had to drag myself to the Gryffindor common rooms where I knew no one else would be, but Remus and I. All I wanted to do was tackle him onto my bed and just remain there for the entire day, with him pressed up against me as I breathe in his scent with each breath.

I enter the common rooms slowly as I smile at Remus who was now standing, staring at the entrance of the room as if expecting me to come after him. I wink with a smile as I walk closer to him as I watch him breathe in severely and whisper out.

"Sirius - I need a break."

I nod as I walk closer to him.

"Like wise. All this schoolwork has left me beat. I say that we spend the rest of the hours taking a nap." I say as I kiss him softly.

I don't feel a kiss in return as I take a step back and stare into his chocolate eyes. His eyes aren't dazzling like they usually are; they held sadness, as his face was stern. Possibly angered. 'I need a break' ran through my mind once again as I feel pain shoot through my body. He was breaking up with me...but...I love him...

"_You _need a break." I whisper in monotone as I glance at the ground. I feel my energy boosting up in rage.

"Sirius. Its just..." I silence him with a raise of my hand.

"Don't give me that bullshit Lupin. You want a break, then by all means. I won't hold you back." I answer with anger in my voice as I leave quickly out of the common rooms. I feel his stare linger over my body, as I don't care. He had broken me; he had torn out my heart.

---

I sat next to the lake under a willow tree as I casually throw pebbles into the lake. No one else was in sight seeing classes were still in progress. Good. It gave me time to think. I lean back against the trunk of the tree as I let out a deep breath of air.

I knew Remus loves me, he knows I love him. Then what is the point in not seeing one another? I fling my head back against the trunk of the tree in anger. How else was I to act? I was angered at him, but mainly, I was angered at me.

Why did I play Remus like he wasn't a human being? I would go on dates, snuggle up close to others, kiss them. But I thought he understood. It had to be this way. What would others think if they found out, the king of troublemaking, was the way I was? That I love another male.

It was natural to me. But others wouldn't accept it.

I never would've thought that I would find the one that completed my soul, but I had. I had it all, but I ruined it. Just because I cared what others think.

I close my eyes as I breathe in deeply. Trying by any means not to be angered at myself.

If what I did disturbs him, then he should have said something! Every time I get ready to leave on a date, and he assists me, I ask him. He just answers with, "Its something you must do." Or even a, "Make sure to have fun."

I am instantly full of anger as I wish to just wound him in return. I would do anything to make him distressed at what he did to me. The heart he had broken.

----

**A/N**- Wow...Sirius is angry!! _Yikes_!! C'mon Sirius, Remus just did what he hadta do! You must understand!! Wait...what are you doing with her? Remus, where are you going? Isn't this suppose to be a happy romance fic?!!! _AHHH!!!_

_Now to thank my reviewers! _Only personal thank-yous from ch. 2. sorry bout that. THANK YOU REVIEWERS FROM CHAPTER 1!!! LUV YA!!

**SP-in-Sirius-Denial**- heres da update!! Thanks for the review.

**Sunset Shadows**- lol...(laughs nervously) heres the update! I hope you like this chapter...

**butterflywings32**- I bet your writing is good. Have any Remus/Sirius ficcies? I'll check em out. Thanks for liking the story!!

**Seraphina Pyra**- Yeah...but not to worry, it all ends happily!! YAY!!! Or does it...

**heather **- me sorry about being confusing. I do that quite often, mix up the present/past when I'm in others POV.

**Quick-fix** - thanks for liking it!! YAY!! Lol. Yeah, I don't like how people make Remus...grrr. Thanks for saying he seems real. I think I made Remus a little weak in this chapter, but this was Sirius's POV.

**Do you want a personal thank you? You know what to do! Review!!**


	4. Chapter Four

I Need A Break 

An Harry Potter Fanfiction written by- **RoyalJester**

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter 

**A/N- **Now I'm not exactly sure how long it takes Remus to be fully 'recovered' from his transformations. It prolly stated in the series but I suppose I don't remember. So please bare with me . Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!! Also!! This chapter is…VERY twisted! Many people will be angry at me for this…. But when you are angry and your awfully confused, don't you end up doing something rather foolish that you wished you could take back?? This would be it!

----

Remus's POV 

I'm beyond weary as I stagger along the hallways that are pitch dark except for the dim light from the torches that led my way through Hogwarts. It had been two days since I've transformed into my monthly horror, but for some reason, this one took longer for me to get over.

I stumble suddenly as I didn't notice I had finally reached the steps. It being winter, it grew dark sooner then expected. It was only seven when I had left the Hospital Wing, as I carry melting chocolate in my hand.

How chocolate could make you feel better, I won't understand. In my theory, its just to give to students who are whining about pain, it's a way to get them to be settle down. I snicker in the slightest at remembering a first-year asking for more chocolate because of his tummy ache. Oh well, he'd learn.

I place the 'sweet desire' back in the wrapping and into my pocket as I enter the common rooms where it's dark as well. The fireplace cackles as I glance at Lily who was snuggling up close to James who put an arm around her. I shake my head with a weak smile as I casually walk up the stairway to my room when I hear a peculiar noise coming from in side.

The sharp coldness rushed through my body as I place my shaking hand on the doorknob and open it; I totter back in hurt at what I see before me.

Sirius was in his bed, with a girl below him, kissing her overpoweringly. My eyes linger over their positions as I note they were only kissing, but as I saw his eyes flash open and meet with mine, still kissing her, I lost it.

I could tell he smirked, he wanted this to happen. I am struck as his hand slowly rides up the mysterious girl's thigh and under her skirt. I step back as I crash into the already closed door behind me. My face pales as I find that I couldn't remember my motor skills as I try to open the door.

Laughter reaches my ears as I hear a figure come up behind me.

"I suppose I should help you. You seem pathetic looking Lupin," A malicious voice whispers as his voice strikes me, I take a step back as I watch his hand tighten over the handle and open it. His body slightly touches mine as lightning shoots up my body. He beckons me out as I feel my eyes water as I stare at the ground. "What's the matter?" he asked full of venom as I couldn't help but look at him, his dark eyes that I adore, pierced me. I turn my gaze from his as I swiftly ran out. How I ran, I don't know, but I had.

"Mooney, what's wrong?" A voice calls out from behind me, James no doubt as he had heard me run down the stairs.

I ignore his call as I hear the echoes of my feet slamming against the ground. My eyes blind as the tears I wish to conceal had revealed themselves.

I slam my body against the wooden doors of the entrance hall as I cast a 'lumos' spell. Using the new light, I reach for a branch as I poke at the knot of the Whomping Willow where my hideout was. My secret place. My steps echo through the hallway as I reach the main room where I transform.

My eyes linger over the torn furniture as I light the torches slowly. I find a torn up cot in the corner of the circular room as I sat down, my back against the wall. So many memories. Of Sirius and I.

On this very cot, we would rest in each other's arms after my transformation; I would be drained as I remember falling onto my knees as I gain my own body back. I would always hear a creak of the door as a figure would walk in, and pick me up, carrying me to the cot where he would snuggle up close with me. How brave and loyal he was.

But that didn't happen this time…

And possibly never again.

How I miss his warm arms circling around me as we escaped the gaze from others. How he would warmly press his lips against mine at random moments, always making the remark, _"I was just making sure you're real,"_

I still hear his voice whisper that sentence as I feel warmth pass through my body. I close my eyes, as I didn't even bother with the tears that tainted my face.

I had made a terrible mistake.

But it was what had to be done.

Soon, we will both move on…find new people to love, share our life's together with that one special person.

I shake my head.

Sirius is my special someone…

I bring my knees against my chest as I lay my forehead on them.

I would give anything for things to be different, for the world, especially a world like this, to have an open mind. Why would others care? I have found love and should be able to express it. He was my soul mate. Forever and always. If we couldn't be together in this existence, then we could in the next.

I laugh deeply at my childish thoughts. But I couldn't prevent them. I can't deny love. I bring my legs down as I gaze along my hidden secret. I held many secrets…

I let out a deep breath of air as I think about us. If only I hadn't said those words that had ruined out lives. Maybe, if Sirius hadn't done what he did, we would still be together. But then again, I had allowed him to. It was my entire fault. I had let him date others while we were together…

I shake my head. I wish to take the blame, some how find something that I had done to make everything my fault, but the truth is, I found none. I let a deep sigh escape.

Everything would work out…it would have to. I know Sirius is in pain, and he is only expressing it his way. Betrayal, and heartache. He didn't care about that girl that he was using, I knew he was thinking of me as he pressed his body against hers. But then again, how did I know? I smiled. I knew.

At the thought of the chocolate melting in my pocket, I remove it and instantly savor the taste as it reaches my mouth. Doesn't taste as good at Sirius, but it was still good. I smile in the slightest.

Maybe Chocolate worked after all…

**A/N**- Hmm…what a sad chapter. Poor Remus…Darn you Sirius!! Stop this act!! Do you hear me!! DO YOU HEAR ME!!! Wait…are those tears? I'm sorry Sirius…wait…they aren't cause of me? Why are you out so late at night anywayz? Whats going on through your head?? Regret?!

**Next chapter**- Sirius's feelings and thoughts. YAY!!!


End file.
